Being in nature can help to lift your mood and even lull your nervous system. So when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, try visiting a park or body of water, suggests Darlene Mininni , Ph. Or bring nature indoors by surrounding yourself with plants and flowers, getting a water fountain for your desk or getting a fish tank. Then when you start feeling better, adjust your music to fit your brighter feelings, she said. The opposite can also help. Other research found that listening to music lowered blood pressure, heart rate and levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This study found these effects in 54 nurses who listened to soothing music for 30 minutes.
Combining calming tunes with slow breathing also might help. In other words, instead of fighting with your feelings, figure out what you need. Let your mood be your messenger, she said. People who feel like they have some control over their lives are happier than people who feel powerless, Mininni said. For instance, if your partner is sick, learn more about their condition, she said. But even the smallest things count. A bit of both?
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Some days no matter the tactics you try, you still feel bad. Margarita Tartakovsky, M. In addition to writing about mental disorders, she blogs regularly about body and self-image issues on her Psych Central blog, Weightless. You get that knot in your stomach, your blood starts to boil, and your mind races. It's okay to embrace the battle, according to relationship experts Dr.
Judith Wright and Dr. Bob Wright — as long as you know what you're really fighting about. Fights are one of your best tools for learning," Judith tells GoodHousekeeping. They're bringing problems up to the service. They're letting you know what you care about, what you really desire, what you really yearn for deep inside.
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They're teaching you so much. The married Chicago-based team wrote a book on the topic, Heart of the Fight , out February 2. They break down the 15 most common fights — and what they really say about your relationship. If you find yourselves blaming each other for who ruined the vacation or whose fault it was that you were late for the dinner party, your expectations are probably out of whack.
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You probably have some fairytale-type expectations. They advise: "Instead of assigning blame in arguments, figure out what you're so upset about, what went wrong, and how to change it now and in the future. We all have these fights: You feel like your partner never does the dishes, or he's constantly leaving the toilet set up. As you probably guessed, it's never really just about that domestic dispute.
So instead of fighting over socks, talk about needing to feel valued and ask for help, Bob adds.
And you get to be a better team. Fights over finances can strike from a lot of different angles. Maybe one partner is a lavish spender and the other is more frugal, or being short on funds puts a constant strain on the relationship. The Wrights say insecurity about money means uncertainty about your relationship.
follow People think, 'If we have enough money, we have enough love. Having resources makes us feel safe and secure.
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The thought of any scarcity can really trigger some really deep primal fights for couples. Giving your partner the silent treatment, making passive-aggressive jabs, or keeping frustration pent up inside isn't going to fix whatever is bothering you. It's really a lack of investment. In other words, good relationships are worth fighting for — literally — so speak up. Rarely are fights just about sexual intimacy, the doctors explain. But these destructive disagreements can often undermine both partners' self-confidence. One example, Judith says, is when a partner associates sex with a time to be held, cuddled, and feel affection.
If they're not getting that affection during the day, too, it places an unhealthy level of expectations on a couple's sex life: "You're trying to meet too many needs with sex. Ideally, you're feeling already close and sex is your way to express that instead of using that to get close. This fight is a Valentine's Day classic.
Come on! Being in a relationship isn't having someone to read your mind. It's saying what it is you need and want, allowing your partner to know what your yearnings are, what you desire, what pleases you, to really be able to share that. But so many women think, 'Well if I have to tell him, it doesn't count. It so does! Some days, your partner's loud chewing is enough to make your head explode.